


Misadventures in Furniture Acquisition

by Paycheckgurl



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Bickering, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Image Heavy, M/M, Mobile Unfriendly, iPhone user bias
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 0
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paycheckgurl/pseuds/Paycheckgurl
Summary: Furnishing a new flat is challenging. Ianto has the text messages to prove it.
Relationships: Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper & Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper & Jack Harkness & Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 28
Kudos: 46





	1. The Bed Incident

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what the iPhone texting display looked like in 2008/9 exactly (I didn’t get my first one until 2012). I’m going to assume not like this exactly, although I did set it to an era appropriate 3G level of service, and researched what phone provider they’d probably be using. 
> 
> You can hand-wave it as A) they got future tech because Rift Gift B) It’s a Modern AU C) It’s a Future!Fic where Ianto lives (pick your favorite Ianto lives scenario). It shouldn’t matter too much...this is about domestic fluff and comedy of errors told through images.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transcript: 
> 
> Ianto: He broke the display bed. 
> 
> Gwen: Hahaha!!!!!
> 
> Gwen: Wait. Were you two...????
> 
> Ianto: No!!!!!!
> 
> Gwen: Then what happened?!
> 
> Ianto: He jumped on it to test the sizing. Didn’t realize it wasn’t fully screwed in. Didn’t occur to him the reason you’re not supposed to jump on the display is that they’re not fully assembled. 
> 
> Ianto: Nevermind that THERE WERE SIGNS. 
> 
> Ianto: Also he dragged me down with him to get an opinion, physically dragged me down with him in a hug that was really more of a tackle. So the thing buckled under both our weight immediately. I think the sales girl thought we were, well...all the shame of getting caught out and none of the fun.
> 
> Gwen: OMG!!! LOL
> 
> Ianto: He insists he can fix it...this is going to be the damn Kawrtya Ship all over again. It’ll be in more pieces than it started in.
> 
> Ianto: Speaking of things in pieces...Gwen I need a favor. 
> 
> Ianto: Could you maybe, possibly...ask your husband if I can rent a lorry on the quick to get a broken bed out of a furnishing store that I’m legally and morally obligated to buy because my idiot boyfriend pulled two grown adults onto it?
> 
> Gwen: You owe me Ianto Jones. 
> 
> Ianto: Extra sprinkles on the whipped cream for your latte tomorrow. I’ll even buy the Caramel drizzle special. 
> 
> Gwen: A man after my own heart. 
> 
> Ianto: Don’t tell Rhys that, we REALLY need that lorry. ASAP.


	2. The Massage Chair Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transcription: 
> 
> Jack: Gwen I need you to settle an argument for us. — CJH
> 
> Gwen: This should be good.
> 
> Gwen: Also for the 100th time you don’t need to sign your texts. I know it’s you. 
> 
> Jack: Are massaging living room chairs tacky? — CJH 
> 
> Gwen: Not at all! A chair that messages you sounds so nice after a long day!!! Oh you should add one of those foot massager pools! Sounds like an amazing way to relax after a day of Torchwood. 
> 
> Ianto (Send to Gwen, Jack): Gwen, you traitor! 
> 
> Ianto: Also what he didn’t tell you is that the stupid chair is mustard yellow
> 
> Ianto: It’s terrible!
> 
> Ianto: [picture of yellow massaging recliner in a cloth fabric]


	3. Captain Jack and the Popcorn Machine Predicament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gwen gets dragged into their arguments a lot. It’s a common occurrence.
> 
> Transcript: 
> 
> Ianto: We do not need a popcorn machine. Why on Earth is there a receipt on the counter for a popcorn machine? 
> 
> Jack: Oh. You need your coffee bean 5000 but I can’t have a popcorn machine :( 
> 
> Ianto: Okay first of all it is the Power Bean 8. Coffee Bean 5000s are highly outdated tech….second of all that’s a coffee machine. We use that. I use that. A lot. When have we EVER used a popcorn machine?
> 
> Jack: Movies! 
> 
> Jack: You like movies it’ll be fun!!!!! 
> 
> Ianto: We do not have space for a full sized popcorn machine. 
> 
> Jack: It’s not full sized that’s the fun of it!
> 
> Ianto: It’s not full sized...
> 
> Ianto: Jack this receipt is for 1000£
> 
> Jack: So don’t be mad. 
> 
> Jack: I might have accidentally ordered five miniature popcorn machines. 
> 
> Jack: At 200£ each. 
> 
> Jack: [later] So I can’t help but notice I’ve been left on read a bit here. You’re not THAT mad right? 
> 
> Ianto: No. I’m not mad at all. And on a completely unrelated note to the fact I am absolutely not mad at you, I’m telling Gwen you only sign your text to her to annoy her. 
> 
> Ianto: But you know...I’m not mad. Or anything like that. 
> 
> Jack: Oh come on don’t be like that. 
> 
> Ianto: Sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of five separate mini popcorn poppers.


End file.
